The Social Media Jealousies

Please bear with me, as this is a bit of a brain dump… 

Instagram and social media have been making me all kinds of crazy recently. Not having anything to do with politics, but having all to do with what I perceive everyone else to have, and what I don’t have.

Why don’t I have a huge, bright, spotless house?

Why don’t we have the means to go on vacations all the time (says the girl who just got back from Budapest) and spend weeks at the beach?

How come I can’t spend ridiculous amounts of money on clothes and accessories for Sadie?

You’d think, with the way I’ve been acting, that I live in a shack with no running water, never leave my town and have Sadie running around wearing clothes from a garbage dump.

I have a great home that while yes, is far from perfect and far from my dream home, I’ve made into a warm, cozy place to live with Dave. We have plans and the means to make it even better. Is it bright, white, airy and decorated to the nines in a farmhouse motif and covered in shiplap? No. But then again, who is to say that’ll all be “in” in a few years anyway? Does it keep my family and I warm, protected from the elements and comfortable? Yes. And also, I live in one of the most expensive cities/areas in the US, so duh, I’m not going to have a huge house! We’re middle class and in certain parts of Long Island, that doesn’t get you far!

We have a wonderful mother/mother-in-law who takes the entire family on vacation every summer for a week. That’s 13 of us! And while I may get overwhelmed by being with so many people and sometimes get a bit cranky about it, I am truly grateful that she does that for us and never ceases to put her family before herself.

And on top of that, Dave and I get to go away as well. I mean shit, we went to Greece last year! Are we flying across the country every school break? No, but is that really so bad?

Sadie could care less (currently) if her clothes come from a pricey store or from Target. And I get her PLENTY of clothes and accessories. The girl wants for nothing. So why do I beat myself up that I am not buying her $45 shoes or $60 dresses when in reality I wouldn’t spend that kind of money on clothes for her anyway? Not at the rate she grows! And wears through shoes. My god, that girl is hard on shoes.

Sometimes I need to remind myself that just what someone shares online, whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat etc, doesn’t necessarily mean that they are sharing the whole picture. Maybe only one room of their house is done up and the rest is still from 1970. Maybe the only reason they can afford tons of vacations and pricey clothes is that they are workaholics who are never home, or maybe they’re in massive credit card debt up to their eyeballs.

All in all, we’ll never know the whole story because we are not the people we watch on social media. I don’t mean this to come off as ungrateful for what I have, or not appreciating what I have. These thoughts have just been tumbling around in my brain for awhile now and I needed to get them down on paper on the blog to get them out of my system.

Do you ever suffer from the social media jealousies?

Comments

  1. I struggle sometimes with social media, and with the algorithms that feed it. Sigh. I get you, girl.

    xox
    Feisty Harriet recently posted…UnzippedMy Profile

  2. Yes this is me!! It always hits hardest in the summer and around the Holidays! I don’t love our house but we can’t afford to make it perfect right now! I also feel like I’m failing as a mom cause I can’t take my kids to the pool every day or out for ice cream. I totally get where you’re coming from…I love social media but it’s hard not to get stuck in a game of comparing!

    • 100%! I also struggle because while I don’t necessarily want to be a SAHM, we can’t afford to have me be one. So I feel bad that I don’t do as much for Sadie as I could as a SAHM, when reality, we do a lot of fun stuff together! Thanks for commenting!

  3. Ugh, I totally get making comparisons and going crazy because of them! I don’t even do social media, but it’s true IRL too. It’s one of the (many) things I worry about as a mom: is my kid going to grow up with this totally skewed view of what’s “normal” because of social media? Bleh!

    • I dread when Sadie is old enough for social media. But we also live in a semi-affluent area (Long Island itself is ridiculous) so we fear when she’s old enough to start comparing and realizing she doesn’t get what her friends do, or she has to work for something when her classmates are just handed things. We’ll get there when we get there I guess!

  4. I totally do! Especially in the blogging world. But it’s true…what is shared on social media is only what that person wants to share. It’s not the issues going on behind the camera or the messy house that is impossible to keep clean with kids around. I have always felt myself drawn towards people who don’t hold back on showing the mess or the stress of life! We are ALL human and we are ALL imperfect.

    Also, I still buy clothes at Target and I absolutely love that place! Sadie will probably be the same way one day. (Goes into Target for paper towels, walks out with 4 dresses, 2 pairs of flats and a new tote bag!)
    Shannon Mahaney recently posted…5 Vegan-Friendly Recipe FavoritesMy Profile

    • Oh I still buy clothes at Target too! Hahah. I buy my clothes where I buy her clothes. And yes, I have to keep reminding myself that we are all human and we are all imperfect, <3

  5. Comparison is the thief of joy. I always tell people that my social media and blog are the sunny side of my life that I choose to share, and those closest to me know the reality. I also tell people that I don’t post things immediately. It might seem like I eat out at fancy restaurants all the time, but sometimes I’m posting a photo from weeks ago, just staggering things to post when I feel like it or have nothing better to post.

    Social media is like a movie, but not a documentary.
    Aubrey recently posted…Seattle: Museum of Pop CultureMy Profile

    • I am totally keeping “Social media is like a movie, but not a documentary” posted to remind me when I am having bad days. That’s fantastic.

  6. Oh gosh yes! I feel you on this one.

    I just try to remember that I know I’m not sharing everything from my life. Although I do try to keep it as real as possible – some stuff isn’t for public consumption, you know? No one needs to see the tears on my face after the argument I had with guyfriend after my anxiety picked a fight with him or the real way my craft room looks right now…And honestly, I’m in the middle of selling my house, getting divorced, and trying to find a new job. Life is a little messy! But I don’t necessarily want people to see me not being able to handle it.

    It’s also interesting to know what some of the struggles are behind those perfect lives, gorgeous homes, exciting vacations, and general highlight reels. I also know some of them who have looked at my life and been jealous of whatever. I just try to remember that we’re all struggling somehow, some way and we’re all in this together. And to know who wears the same dress and shoe size 😉

    Kuddos to you saying this out loud.
    Court recently posted…Reading more: Brew or DieMy Profile

  7. Oh I have been there a lot lately. Especially since I’m making way less than I used to and I swear everyone around me is having more babies or traveling and it’s taking a lot of restraint to not go down the path of crazy/jealousy. xo

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