I’m Too Old for this Sh*t

I went to see Sia in concert last night. First off, it was amazing. I have never been to a concert like that before in my life.


It was fantastic. Sia is so focused on the music and the audience not being distracted by the musician/star up on stage that she stands perfectly still throughout the entire show. And each song is performed by dancers including the super talented Maddie Ziegler. You get so immersed in the dancers and the storytelling – it was unbelievable.

One sucky thing is that the concert was in Brooklyn so by the time I got home it was after midnight. And as I woke up at 6am this morning the first thought in my head was…

“I’m too old for this shit.”

That reminded me of a running list my friend Brian and I used to keep back in the day of stuff we decided we were too old for, and I thought I’d revive it on the blog. Ready?

I'm Too Old For This Sh*t | Perks of Being a JAP | www.perksofbeingajap.com

1. Concerts or any other evening activity where I get home past my bedtime. I need my sleep. I’m doing ok today – I was sleeping by about 12:45 and got up at 6, but I’m managing. Normally evening activities where I don’t have time to unwind at home and get to bed at a reasonable hour are NOT okay at this time of my life.

2. Hangovers. #NOPE. Why are they so much harder to deal with as you get older?

3. Sleeping on futons or air mattresses – or really anything that is not a good bed. I pretty much wake up as the worst version of myself the next morning if I don’t have a good mattress to sleep on.

4. General admission at concerts. I’m old. I want to sit until it’s time to stand. Mama needs to put her butt down.

5. Sleeping until the afternoon. Even if I could with a small child who thinks any time before 7am is an acceptable wake-up time, I almost hate getting up late in the day. Even late in the morning! While it’s nice to sleep I just feel like I wasted time when I could get better stuff done that I couldn’t take care of during the week.

6. Anything involving a huge crowd. Bars, parties, general admission (see above.) Oh hi, out-of-towner!  You want to go to Manhattan the day after Thanksgiving? #NOTHANKYOU.

7. Group dinners where you have to figure out the bill amongst 18 people. Either ask for separate checks from the beginning or agree that everyone splits it evenly. I don’t have time for this bickering over who had three glasses of wine vs who only had a seltzer.

8. Parties that start after I’m already in bed. Oh, you’re having a birthday party and it starts at 10pm. Yeah sorry, I’m not going to be able to make that. I couldn’t tell you the last year I went to something that started after 8pm.

I’m sure there are more but that’s all that I can think of for now.

What shit are you too old for?


  1. The entire time I worked with and traveled with the band… I was just in awe… I was the youngest in the group (26 when I started with them, median age was about 33-36) and had no clue how they functioned essentially guilty of every single thing on that list. (Enough people were in the service industry that getting checks split prior or paying equally was never an issue to establish, thankfully.) Granted we weren’t performing or touring every weekend.. but still.. sleeping on camping mats or floors or in a bus, staying out drinking all night, concerts were they don’t even go on stage until midnight… ugh. Makes me tired and sore thinking about it. I’m an adult, I want to be in bed by 9 with a book, sleep by 10, and up by 6:30. (I also don’t get grad students who stay up all night. Like, I get the deadlines, but I’m crap without my sleep. It’s where our age differences really show up.)

    The last few years for birthday parties: brunch. I never don’t want brunch.
    Erini recently posted…Things they don’t tell you about getting older…My Profile

  2. Places where people get really sweaty while dancing. Just ewww.

    Being told that I *have* to drink something. I pulled out that card a lot in college and now that I am almost 40? Don’t try to pull it on me.

  3. Oh my god, #7 for sure. I still have friends who want to pay their bill exactly down to the very last penny. Drives me crazy. But it makes me appreciate the friends who don’t care even more.

  4. I am too old for…
    -Sitting on the ground/lawn when I can pay more for a reserved seat (tied to #4 General Admission)
    -Doing pretty much anything after work on Friday because I’m exhausted
    -Cheap beer and shitty vodka/champagne in general (related to #2 Hangovers)
    -Going to movies on the first night they open (I’m not that die-hard anymore, I hate the crowds tied to #6)

    And #8 ALL THE TIME. When did we get old? LOL
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  5. Haha, I love this. I got home around 12:15 after watching one of the World Series games at a local bar, & when I woke up the next day, 5, too, woke with “I’m too old for this shit” on the brain.
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  6. General Admission days are over for me! I like to have the option to sit although the last show I saw, Florence & The Machine, I was dancing for! I also cannot stay up past 11p any more. I usually wake up feeling hungover. Not cute!


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