Rolling around in the lame sauce

I logged into my WordPress dashboard after months and months of not blogging and saw this saved post in my drafts. There is nothing in here but the subject line, “Rolling around in the lame sauce.” I have no idea what caused me to write that title back in September, but it still seems applicable right now as I dip a toe into the cool waters of my blog, testing the temperature, seeing how it feels after being out for so long.

It’s kind of perfect timing because as I was writing this my renewal notice for blog hosting popped up into my Gmail. A sign?

It’s Christmastime… I would say holiday season or Christmas season but my threenager keeps correcting me. “MOM – it’s ChristmasTIME. Not Christmas season!” Etc.

I’ve mentioned before that I was going to therapy for a myriad of things. Recently I stopped going. I had a session that took me to a place I didn’t like, and I ghosted my therapist. Shitty of me to do, but running away from my problems is the right thing to do, right? (Sarcasm.)

My anxiety that can be pinpointed to certain things/situations is more under control, but its general anxiety that I’m dealing with now. And just this overwhelming feeling of… blah. I know it comes and goes, it kind of always does, but I seem to have been stuck in the malaise for longer than I’m used to.

The urge to start writing again in this space has been gnawing at me here and there… but then when I open up WordPress and start a new draft… nothing. And I close the browser. Lather, rinse, repeat.

So who knows. Who knows if this will become my outlet once again. Maybe if I don’t put pressure on myself to be “popular” or get upset when no one comments I’ll cherish this space more and use it to my advantage.

Or maybe not. I guess we’ll see.

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Comments

  1. Hey, there, stranger! I understand the feeling… I keep a note in my phone of topics I’m interested in writing about so that I don’t lose inspiration as it comes to me. I also sometimes steal topic ideas from other bloggers when I want to write but am at a loss for a topic. Hope you find something comfortable to come back to. <3
    Kate @ GreatestEscapist.com recently posted…Leg Lamps of Cleveland: A Photo Essay for ChristmasMy Profile

  2. Girl, lame sauce sucks. I’m sorry you’ve got it creeping in at the edges and making puddles.

    Hugs to you,
    xox

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