Hanging up my running shoes

I had grand plans you guys. As you know from previous posts I was training for a half marathon. And I was so excited. It was going to be epic and it had tiaras, tutus, hot shirtless men – how much better could a first half marathon get?

Well here’s the thing. Shit happens. Life happens. And something you thought you were looking forward to and planning for can become the thing you start to dread when you wake up in the morning, and begins to give you anxiety throughout the day. That’s what running became for me.

First in May I got really sick. I had pretty much the worst head cold ever in my life and ringing ears for two weeks. Running was out of the question. And from there I couldn’t really get back into it. And then I got sick again. And it just never picked back up.

I trained for the 10k and did that – and honestly I was only a few minutes slower than last year so it wasn’t that bad. But my desire to get out and run just disappeared. There were times when if it was nice out and I wasn’t running I’d get upset. Now… nothing. No urge to run whatsoever. I literally had the same pile of running clothes sitting on our piano bench for two weeks waiting for me to get up and get a morning run in… and nothing.

The final straw was the Craft Brew Race that Dave and I did in New Haven the beginning of August. I wasn’t excited going into it (and you get beer at the end!) I even tried to talk Dave into NOT going. But we went and I told myself that if I couldn’t get into it for this 5k then I’d stop.

I wish I could spin this into a super positive place and say how awesome it was and how I rediscovered running again and I love it and OMG it’s the best! But that’s not what happened. It was so hot and so miserable and I hated almost every minute of that 5k. I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

So it’s over. I can’t say that it’s a permanent hiatus because I just don’t know for sure, but it’s over for now. And you know what? That’s ok. IT’S OK. Yes, I have the half marathon and another race I already signed up for, but worse comes to worse I lose the money (vs selling my bib to someone else). I’d rather use that lost money as a reminder to listen to myself than force myself to continue doing something that was making me anxious and miserable.

And that’s the thing. Life is short. Why waste that time running around miserable (literally) and dreading a run when I can do other workouts that I’ve been enjoying and look forward to doing? I want Sadie know that it’s ok to quit something, as long as you’ve tried and put in your best effort. And I tried, I really did. But it’s time to hang up my running shoes (for now) and move on to greener pastures. Or something. And I’m ok with it.

Have you ever quit something that you thought you couldn’t for whatever reason? 

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Comments

  1. For me, it’s hard to quit supporting non-profit and volunteer organizations. You feel so good doing something for them, and when you try to pull away, they feel no guilt pulling you back in. I had to make a conscious declaration to pick two non-profits to continue supporting, because with work/school I couldn’t handle any more. That meant walking away from two, and years later they STILL e-mail me asking for my time. I would run myself ragged if I didn’t learn to QUIT things that aren’t a priority in my life, you know?

    As for the half marathon, have you thought about a run/walk combo to finish? I think the best thing I did to prep for a half marathon was NOT prep for a half marathon, at least not obsessively. Running for fitness, cross-training with other workouts (like your Beachbody ones), and just maintaining a certain level of fitness and using the half-marathon as a fun event. I wouldn’t say the same thing about a full marathon (NEVER AGAIN WILL I DO THAT) but half marathons over time kind of become your new 5K, if you decide you want that. But THE WORST thing to do when you hate running is to keep running, it’ll make you hate it more. Take it from someone who was a kickass competitive distance runner but quit almost cold-turkey for like a decade minus mandatory Army running.
    Aubrey recently posted…Wedding: InvitationsMy Profile

  2. The worst is working out and not enjoying yourself either during the workout or afterwards. It will just make you hate the activity more and that’s not going to help your motivation to do it! I have stopped/started running lots of times which I’m okay with. It means that I am never fast, but I always tell myself that at least I am lapping everyone on the couch! 🙂
    nonsequiturchica recently posted…Microblog MondaysMy Profile

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