Sadie has the flu. She was up at 3am on Sunday, and then again at 5:30, and when I went to get her, she was boiling hot to the touch. Temp under the arm was over 101, so I knew it was closer to 102 or so. When we got to the doctor later in the morning, she tested positive for the flu. My poor baby. Turns out Dave and I both had the flu without knowing (me as recently as this past week) and must have passed it to her. I feel SO BAD.
Yesterday was awful. We were hosting a Super Bowl party, so after we got home from the pediatrician, we sent out Facebook and text updates letting everyone know, and telling them that we were still willing to host, if they were willing to come. Pretty much everyone still wanted to come, so we carried on.
Sadie was such a pathetic little sight. Normally she’s so energetic and into everything and is all over the place. Yesterday all she wanted to do was lay on top of Dave or I, and just be cuddled, and that is so not the norm for our little girl.
She was more or less okay during the Super Bowl party, and took some long naps, and woke up at 10:30pm before everyone left. Then around 12am, all hell broke loose. Sadie was hysterical for three hours straight. Literally screaming, and inconsolable, no matter what we tried. It broke my heart. At some point during the night I broke down and was almost as hysterical as she was.
Those of you who aren’t parents may not understand this feeling – but when you have a child, a baby, who can’t express to you what’s wrong, and is screaming with such ferocity that it sounds like someone is physically harming her, your insides shut down and you feel so incredibly helpless and vulnerable. This is quite possibly the worst feeling in the world. Having your baby be in your arms and in pain, and you can do nothing to help except hold them, and try to kiss the tears off of their face. It was awful. Quite possibly the worst moment of Mommyhood I’ve experienced so far.
Today has been better. I had already taken off work (thinking I’d have a nice day off) and Dave took off as well. Sadie’s temp was around 99 all day, and she was in pretty good spirits, despite not really napping. Around 6:30 or so she started to become pretty upset again, but after some rocking and cuddling from Dave, she passed out and is currently asleep in her crib. We’ll see how long that lasts.
My poor, poor little baby. I hate that she’s sick, and I hate this feeling of helplessness. I hope she starts to be her energetic, lively self soon. I know that this is only temporary, and it’s really a first world problem, because otherwise she is (thankfully) healthy. But it’s horrible to feel so, so useless and helpless when your baby can’t understand why they don’t feel good.