I’m experiencing Mommy Guilt already… I didn’t think that was possible! However, it’s the opposite of how I would imagine most mommies, or in my case, mommies-t0-be, experience it. From parents whose blogs I read to friends I know with kids, a few women experience some form of guilt when they go back to work once maternity leave is up. (Please note that I say a few women and I am not generalizing about all the mommies everywhere.) While I’m sure that when its my time to go back to work after my leave has ended I’ll have some mixed feelings of my own, that’s not where my guilt lies.
I’m currently feeling guilty about leaving my job for three months because I’m having a baby.
Does that make sense?
We had been trying for a few months before I got pregnant, so I didn’t plan to be out when I will be, but my maternity leave will basically begin during one of the busiest times of the year for my office, and especially my department. The travel ramps up along with the amount of events that we’re responsible for, and I won’t be there physically or mentally to help out. In addition to this, we’ve hired a new person, which is great, but due to paperwork/the hiring process/etc., their start date isn’t until the first week of May, which means that I can’t help to train them in any way, shape or form before I go (my due date and end of work date is May 10). Granted, if I were in the last few months of pregnancy vs the last few weeks, it’s not like I would be able to help out in the same capacity that I could normally, but it would be something. My team is so great and I feel ALL OF THE GUILTIES for leaving them right as the crazy season starts.
On top of that, I’m not going back to work right when my 12 weeks are up. I will be going back to work, trust me on that – we bought a house – can’t afford not to! BUT Dave is having surgery to repair his torn ACL at the end of August, and I can’t in good conscience leave him alone when he’ll be immobile for at least 10 days post-surgery. Also can’t very well leave the baby with him, since he won’t be able to get around on his own. Family and friends would definitely step up and pitch in if I had to return to work, but I’m very fortunate that my job is so accommodating and willing to let me be home with him while he recuperates. I know it puts me at ease at least.
So I return to work in September – and September is an insane month at work too!! I will probably do some work from home to ease back in before my official return date, but still. I won’t be able to travel as much as the rest of the team, to be honest I don’t know how much travel I can do in the beginning, so my best bet is just to be ready to dive right in the minute I get back, and try to help out the best of my abilities.
Have any other mommies experienced these feelings of guilt associated with their jobs? I know I can’t be the only one. I just feel so… bad. Like I’m abandoning the people who need me.