Dearest bitch on the subway:

Scene: moderately full train car during Friday night rush hour.

I get on the train, seeing a seat open next to a girl similar in size to me in one of the two seater sections:

6 train

When I take my seat, I realize that I’m feeling rather… squished. Like I said, the girl next to me was about my size. And although I’m pregnant, I’m only large frontways, and not sideways. Upon further investigation I realize the bitch girl has her bag wedged in between her and the wall of the subway car, taking up about 4-5 inches of valuable space.

Not knowing if I should say something I try the following first:

– Trying to catch her eye in the window reflection across from us.

– Staring at her bag pointedly.

– Wedging my elbow between us as much as possible.

After a few stops, when none of that had worked, I pulled out my headphone, and politely said, “Excuse me, would you mind moving your bag and moving over a bit?”

You would have thought that I asked this girl if she had a sexually transmitted disease the way she looked at me.  And then came, the huff.  You know, the little huff of breath you give when you’re asked to do something that you don’t want to.  BECAUSE THIS WAS THE MOST TAXING THING IN THE WORLD FOR HER TO DO.

As she sloooowly moved her bag to her lap, she didn’t look like she was going to actually move into that space that was now available.  So, I got a bit rude.  And the following exchange occured:

Lacey: Great thanks, now can you move over too? (said with accompanying little hand gestures of her moving over)

Rude Bitch on the Train: I’m moving! You don’t have to rush me, god, blah blah blah blah blah and so forth. (FINALLY MOVES OVER)

Lacey: Ok well it didn’t look like you were going to move, so thanks. (I start to put my headphone back in my ear)

RBOTT: blah blah blah blah something unintelligible blah blah blah

Lacey: (With headphone planted back in my ear and music playing) I’m sorry, I’m done listening to you.

And I sit back with my eyes closed, and a small little smile on my face.

/end scene

But really?  I’m sorry its like, common NYC subway (and I would assume all other cities) LAW that you don’t take up valuable real estate that someone else could be sitting in with your crap.  Same way you don’t stand right in front of the subway cars until everyone has gotten off the train, etc.  Ughhh.  So annoying.

Also – RBOTT?  You looked like an ass when you started mouthing off to a pregnant woman (yes, my coat was open and everyone could see. And she would have still looked like an ass if I wasn’t pregnant).  I asked you nicely to move over, and you acted like I was asking you to lick the shoe residue off the floor of the train for a penny.  EFF YOU. I hope karma bites you in the ass.




  1. Ugh! I’m pissed at the bitch for you. Another annoying train thing is when guys sit with their legs spread wide open, which squishes the people sitting next to you.

  2. I always feel weird when I see a pregnant lady on the bus, but she’s too far away/the bus is too crowded for me to offer her my seat and no one around her is offering. I also give the stink eye to anyone who takes up more room than necessary on transit, especially when packed. … I ended up writing a “how not to be a dick on the bus” post recently, I just wish I could get it on one of the major Chicago blogs!

    Even if you weren’t pregnant, that brat had no excuse! I would’a jabbed her a bit more with my elbow!

  3. Ugh, I once had to ask a man to get his feet off of a seat (he was sprawled out) so a friend with a broken leg could sit & got the same reaction! People suck.

  4. Wow, what a be-atch!!! Even if karma doesn’t get her though, you at least already made her look like a dick, good on you!

  5. My experiences with the NYC subway are limited, so I can only fairly compare the DC Metro, but one of the weirdest things for me about riding the Paris metro has been the fact that people don’t ever give up their seats here. At least in DC, I feel like it’s a basic rule that certain people — specifically pregnant woman and the elderly (not that those two are the same, but you know what I mean) — ought to be offered available seats and the rest of us who are young and not pregnant can suck it up and stand for a little bit. This is on a whole other level, though, because this girl didn’t even have to stand! All she had to do was move her shit!

  6. Suburban Sweetheart says

    Ugh, so many people are such insufferable assholes. Luckily, karma is a bigger bitch than this girl is.

  7. People are ridiculous. I hate when people also use their purses as weapons of protection on the train.

  8. What a bitch. My new office is in the suburbs so I drive to work now and I do NOT miss public transportation at all. I was constantly amazed at how oblivious/rude people are.

  9. Gah! I hate when people are too close and won’t move! I don’t take a bus or anything of the sort, but I deal with annoying too close people in the checkout aisle often. If you’re standing so close that I can feel your breath on my neck – YOU ARE TOO CLOSE!!! *Or* when they keep bumping my ass with their cart… I’ve actually bumped back, HAH.

  10. Ah, New Yorkers 🙂

  11. even though this isn’t that funny, your reaction is cracking me up. i would have been so annoyed too. good for you for sticking up for yourself (and baby!)

  12. Ugh, what a bia. I hope karma bites her in the ass.

  13. how is that not a common thought to put your bag on your lap when ANYONE is sitting next to you! and the rudeness? so not necessary. sheesh. glad you spoke up and said something to her because that is just ridiculous.

  14. Urgh!!! This girl is sooooo annoying!!! How dare she take up all that space!

    I’m not sure I would’ve been as calm as you I probably would have picked up her bag and moved it myself!

    Speaking of which one time I was on a bus and there was a girl with her bag on the seat opposite her and she also had her feet on this chair. A man got on the bus, which was pretty packed and picked up her bag and put it on the girls lap!!!

    Extreme measures like and I guess a little rude he didn’t even ask her to move. but she was being really rude too and so inconsiderate!

    Needless to say she harped on for a good ten minutes! Lol!



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