Ka-POW! ZAP! Blammo!!!!*

Sometimes my morning radio show (z100’s Elvis Duran and the Morning Show, for all who were curious) gives me the best blog fodder.  The other day the topic on my drive over to the subway was, “who would you punch in the face?”  And not specific people by name, but types of people.  Like, people who bring their babies to movies.  Or who drive slow in the left lane.  That sort of stuff.  And of course, I have a lot of people I want to punch in the face:

I would punch, square in the face:

  • People who stand too close to you on a line.
  • Close talkers
  • People who change the radio station in your car without asking.
  • People who stand on the walking side of the escalator.
  • People who start conversations with me when I clearly have my headphones in.
  • Touchy feely people
  • Know-it-alls
  • People who don’t say “thank you” after the door is held open for them.
  • Those who say “sammies” for sandwiches, or people who use “nom” too often (sorry people!)
  • Lazy people who write emails or messages in text language “u” for you, words ending in a “z” instead of an “s”, etc.
  • Drivers who don’t use turn signals when driving.
  • People who don’t understand that thin does not = in shape.
  • Girls with perfect hair (I hate you)

Who do you want to punch in the face??  I know I’m not alone here 😉

*Please tell me you get the old school Adam West Batman reference. That show was awesome. Eartha Kitt = best Catwoman ever.

Comments

  1. 1) People who sit their bags in seats on public transportation while others stand
    2) People who tailgate because they think you’re driving too slow instead of just passing you
    3) People who use speakerphone when they are the only person in the room who needs to hear the call

    I could go on, but I probably shouldn’t.

  2. I totally agree with all of them! Before I started rock climbing, people always thought I was in shape just because I was thin…and then they proceed to be hugely disappointed when they see that I’m not. “but you’re soooo skinny!!!”…..”shuddup!”

  3. Oh no. I can be touchy-feely. I may have to stay away from you when I’m in that mood…

    Great list! Here’s a few of mine:
    1) People who interrupt you or complete your sentences for you
    2) People who bring food into my cubicle and eat it over my shoulder while I’m working

  4. People who talk to me while I’m reading a book, acknowledge that I’m reading and then proceed to ask me all about the book.

    And Packers fans.

  5. i really can’t stand people that leave their blinkers on – ARE YOU TURNING OR WHAT!?! also the no signal thing totally irks me too.

    i’d also like to punch people that leave trash everywhere, it’s just annoying. throw it away people! it’s not that hard.

    oh and spencer pratt. i think he deserves a good punch.

  6. Oh man, people who start conversations when you have your headphones in are the WORST!!! Closely followed by people who take GIANT prams to the shopping centre and then walk side by side so that you can’t overtake them and have to walk at snail pace.

    Also? People who see that there’s a pregnant or disabled person standing up on public transport and pretend they didn’t see them so that they don’t have to give up their seat.

    I’ve been known to stand on the walking side of the escalator. But that’s because having spent part of my childhood in North America, part in England and part in Australia, I can never remember which side of the damned escalator is the standing side and which is the walking side!!!

  7. Yes, I agree with 90% of this list, all of those people need to be punched in the face!

  8. Oh god, I *detest* the use of “sammies.” The word makes me shudder.

  9. people who cut to the front because they think they are much more important that the rest of us –or their emergency is much more…emergency 🙂

    people who stand at your desk and ramble about last nite’s tv or dinner..or whatever while you are CLEARLY doing something they should be doing–trying to get work done!

    people who you try to help and while you are doing their work to help them, they loiter, chat with others or get on ipod, facebook or blackberry!! grrr!! 2 punches in the face!

  10. 1. People who don’t use turn signals ever and then get mad when you can’t read their mind.
    2. People who think they know better than you about everything.
    3. People who push their agenda on others.
    And, 4. People who stand on the wrong side on escalators.

  11. People who are consistently cutesy with language (nom, hubs, hubby, etc.), people who butt into conversations, people who think they know everything about everything. And a million others, lol.

  12. People who push the elevator button after it is clear that you have already pushed it. It’s like, hey asshole…do you think you’re better at pushing the button than me? Get outta here.

    My #1 driving pet peeve is people who see a lane is closing up ahead, but instead of starting to merge like a normal person, they speed up to the front and edge their way into the lane in front of the people who have actually been sitting in the correct lane. Like, the rudest thing ever.

  13. Don’t try to drive down here in Houston — ALL drivers down here don’t think they have turn signals on their cars. Apparently we should all be able to communicate our desires telepathically. Irksome.

    Also, the skinny girl comments. Except that it’s generally in reference to comments about clothes. Apparently all skinny girls can wear EVERYTHING and look fabulous. NOT. (Take it from a skinny girl.)

    – People who RSVP “Maybe” for an event scheduled in the same week. Either you aren’t available or you are — CHOOSE.

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