Judgy Wudgy Was a Bear…

Dave and I went to a wedding on Saturday, the first one since we’ve been engaged. It was the wedding of a close friend of Dave’s, and we all had an awesome time. And I wasn’t hungover on Sunday, so that was a WIN for me. (Mainly due to Dave being smart and taking away my wine when he saw me on the cusp of having fun/being cute drunk to borderline getting sick/crying drunk. Go Dave!)

Also, it seems that when I’m drinking and dancing, I have a tendency to break out some sweet dance moves, like the Batusi:

I am awesome

While we had a great time at the wedding, and the bride looked beautiful, I couldn’t help but judge and analyze every. single. little. detail. I. saw. Clearly being engaged and getting married 9 months from now has made me want to pick apart everything that goes into a wedding, and compare it to what I am doing for mine. Which, fine, it’s ok to compare or get ideas, but it seems that I also like to drunk talk about it, because I remember saying many times to Dave’s friends, “At OUR wedding we’re not doing this.” “At OUR wedding, we’re doing such and such.” “OUR wedding is going to be awesome.”

No one is going to want to come to OUR wedding if I keep it up haha.

All night people were saying to us, “You’re next! You guys are next! Woo!”, but who am I to say that our wedding is going to be any better than another? I was telling my mom this and she was like, oh yeah, you’re definitely going to analyze every wedding you see from now until March 20. I understand why I was doing it, but really, can I truly compare our 150 person, country club, non-denominational wedding to a wedding that was 200+ people, Catholic church ceremony, Chinese restaurant reception and 1 dress change? (She wore a traditional “American” wedding dress for the ceremony and part of the reception, and then changed into a Chinese wedding dress for the rest of the reception. It was pretty neat.)

You married/engaged ladies (and men)… did you judge/analyze/beat to death any weddings you went to before your own? Tell me I’m not alone here!


  1. Lisa-Marie says

    I did! and, two of my friends are planing thiner weddings now, and I totally compare their stuff to my own(they are spending way more than I did, and so far, my wedding still looks better).

    You are completely normal. Especially if a wedding is good, you are going to analyse it, because you want yours to be perfect too!

  2. Lisa-Marie says

    *their weddings. I don't know why I typed thinner.

  3. Oooohh yeah. There is one really horrible wedding we went to about 3 months before our own. We seriously both did the "at OUR wedding" talk the entire 8 hour drive home the next day. Ooops 🙂 Luckily, most of our friends thought it was pretty bad, too, and kept coming up to us throughout the reception saying "Oh my gosh, your wedding is going to be so much better".

    This chick didn't serve dinner and had a 6pm wedding with a reception immediately following. There were no drinks. I understand no booze (well, I mean, I respect it. I don't necessarily understand it hahaha) but there was no WATER! Zach had to get me a drink from a water fountain! The cake was gross, the music was weird, etc. etc. etc.

    Haha it's funny how once you plan a wedding you feel entitled to judge everyone else's. I promise, it is normal!

  4. Lexilooo says

    I'm not even engaged and I still do it 🙂

  5. i'm going to four weddings this year and i definitely know i will be getting ideas/nixing ideas and subtly judging, it can't be helped! 🙂

  6. Shannon Patterson says

    I'm getting married on March 13 next year, and I do that at any sort of event I go to now. Things like centerpieces and flowers never mattered to me in the least, and now I deconstruct every little thing I see. You are absolutely not alone.

  7. I totally do that now and will probably continue to do so after my own wedding in a few weeks!

  8. You always have me cracking up at the most random moments… like your "I am awesome" small caption under the pic!

    YES! i have a friend/acquaintance who had an entireeee wedding based on DISNEY everythingggggg!!

    It was cute for the first 2.2 seconds… then it became a lil scary.

  9. Mrs. Jenna says

    I've been married for almost 2 years – I judged every wedding for the year before ours, and every wedding since. We went to a wedding yesterday and people were STILL talking about our wedding and how much fun it was. I felt a little guilty (seeing as how the wedding we were at wasn't even over yet!) but it's also an awesome feeling knowing we (well, let's be honest..I) threw the best wedding party EVER!

  10. Two friends and I all got married the same summer. Looking back on it, comparing anything we did was like comparing apples and oranges. We each did what really reflected us best, and there really wasn't any "better" wedding, each one complemented the couple perfectly. So don't get hung up on any details, or feel like you *have* to do something because everyone is doing it and all your guests will expect it, just do whatever YOU want to do and it will be perfect. 🙂

  11. theycallmecurlysue says

    I wasn't even engaged and I was looking at the invites a girlfriend from back home sent and I thought–did they just print these on construction paper?! They looked horrible. I felt bad, for a minute. But, now that I'm ENGAGED–woo!–as of yesterday, I need to start planning my own wedding 🙂 And no, you aren't crazy, as long as you aren't too loud about what you are doing for your wedding or how it will be better.

  12. I did the same thing when we went to a wedding a few months after we got engaged. Going there and checking out all the little details was what jump-started the wedding planning for us. Seeing all the choices they'd made, whether or not we liked them, really made us start thinking about what we wanted for ourselves.

  13. Oh, yes, yes, yes I sure did analyze every wedding I've been to since I got engaged! We went to about six or seven last year, all but two of which were post-engagement. More than anything, I feel like I got a good sense of what I want (personalized vows, great cake) and do NOT want (open seating, a bouquet toss) at my own wedding.

  14. I haven't been down that road yet, but I do it and I'm not even engaged. I don't think it can be helped when you know it's on the horizon… 😉

  15. Yes, yes yes!! I think it's hard not to judge, but what's worse is when you go to a really awesome wedding and then you're scared yours won't live up to it!!

  16. I'm not even engaged and I do it.

  17. i'm with susan. i'm not even engaged and i judge everything and determine if i'd want it at mine or not.

  18. You look awesome in that picture. Love it. And it's okay to mentally compare other weddings to yours. I would totally do it.

  19. Non Sequitur Chica says

    I totally judged my friend's wedding last November even though we had just started planning. One of my best friends from college is getting married three weeks before us and I know that we are totally going to judge the entire thing! 🙂

  20. nicoleantoinette says

    Yep, this is why I'm eloping. For SURE. One day you'll open up your Reader and it will just be like "I got married yesterday! Weee!"

    The. End. Lol

  21. Yes! The exact same thing has been happening to me! I never noticed wedding details before but now that I'm engaged I keep thinking of what I want and don't want every time I'm at someone else's wedding.

  22. I would probably do the same thing. I'm not even close to getting married and I defiantly judge some weddings I go to!!

    I gave you an award. Check it out!

  23. I totally did, and kept doing it for the first few after!

  24. The Northerner says

    We went to one of my husband's groomsman's weddings (lol, my husband was also a groomsman in this wedding…are you following?) A MONTH before our wedding and I was psycho. Their wedding was very nice, but at the time I critiqued everything. I think I even cried at one point because they had fireworks and we weren't going to have them. In the end, our wedding was wayyy better because it was OUR WEDDING. Period.

  25. Shoshanah says

    I'm not engaged and still analyze ever wedding I go to! I don't normally tell people when I'm doing it, since not being engaged it sounds a little crazy

  26. I don't even plan to get married anytime soon but I take notes from all the weddings I attend. LOL. I think it's a girl thing.

  27. ablogofherown.wordpress.com says

    Um. Yup.
    I've got a wedding reception/party thing next Saturday that I'm already jonesin about. I'm pretty sure that it's going to be a complete mess (the couple is very disorganized and "whatev" about it) and i'm interested to see what happens. There may be some good things in with the bad, but it also helps that most of The Boy's family will be there, so I'll get to hear what THEY find appropriate before I decide to hire monkeys and organ grinders for my own wedding….
    or something.

    in any case, it's all gooood. judge away. 😉

  28. I am NOT married – nor engaged – and I get all Judgy McJudgerson at weddings. It's in our nature, I think.

  29. Wearing Mascara says

    I am not engaged but I can totally see how I could judge if I was. You're definitely not alone!

  30. Don't worry, I'm totally doing the same thing now. "At our wedding, we're going to do x instead of y…Things won't look a thing like this at MY wedding.." I think if we didn't do that, we'd be a little out there! Plus you never know if you'll come across a good idea/want to steal it!

  31. I haven't been to a wedding since being engaged but I did this before I was engaged and actually before I met my fiance so you are FAR from alone on this!

  32. Stephanie says

    Well I just started reading your blog and have really enjoyed it! And I had to comment on this because I am recently engaged and getting married next year too. We have been to two weddings since getting engaged and I can't help it either! I actually had my phone out taking notes at both weddings to remember ideas (good AND bad)….and writing down song ideas. You know those…"Oh we HAVE to have this song!".


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