"Every party loves a pooper, that’s why they invited you!"

Today Hazel over at Behind These Hazel Eyes wrote about farting in front of your significant other. How her boyfriend can do it in front of her without flinching, but she still can’t in front of him after months of dating. This made me laugh, because I don’t remember when Dave started doing it in front of me unabashedly, and I can’t remember when I started letting loose in front of him, although I do know that he started it first. Now it’s become a big joke between us whenever one of us does, and we make sure to make comments on loudness, smell, etc. (Yes, we’re mature adults.)

I will also (and yes, I am admitting this on the Internet) pee in front of Dave. And vice versa. I don’t remember when that started either, but he definitely did it first and it was like, OMG WHAT IS GOING ON??? And I was slightly freaked out. And then it became fine. However, even after two years and five months of dating (and 3 months of being engaged), I will NOT go number 2 in front of Dave. Under no circumstances.

My parents, however, think this is ok. (I don’t know why or how this came up in conversation with my parents, but it did.) My dad was like, “What, you two haven’t reached that level of comfort with each other yet?” I’m sorry, but there is no level of comfort for that in my world. GROSS. As I’m sure Dave doesn’t want to picture me on the bowl doing my business, I don’t want to picture him. Although I have run in there super quick to grab something without knocking. Hee hee. I mean, Dave already thinks I am strange because I consistently poop in the morning, so why would I want to give him more depth than that?

What’s your take on this? Would you go number 2, poop, or as I so lovingly called it the other day, “drop a deuce” in front of your significant other?

Maybe after we’re married this will change for me, but as for now, oh hell no.

Comments

  1. Love this post ๐Ÿ™‚ We’ve been married for a year and a half, have known each other for almost 12 years and we still don’t pee in front of each other. If he is in the shower, I will run in there really quick, but I wouldn’t just sit there and pee while he was brushing his teeth. And he would never even come in the bathroom if he thought I was going. He still knocks and asks if it is okay. Ha, we are both totally prudish like that!

  2. Jaime @ Fast Times says

    I would never do #2 in front of anyone. ANYONE. I don’t care how much love and comfort there is between us.

    LOL

  3. I’ll admit it, I will drop one in front of him. I don’t regularly sit there and carry on a conversation or anything, but I’ve been known to open the door and say a word or two, or go when he’s in the shower (I know that’s mean, but when ya gotta go, ya gotta go).

    Little anecdote that really proves nothing, but is kinda interesting…some girlfriends and I were talking about this and out of the three of us that were married, only one would drop a deuce in front of her husband. The other two of us that wouldn’t ended up divorced. I was one that wouldn’t at that time. So I have no clue what that means, but the guy I couldn’t poop in front of I also couldn’t stay married to.

  4. Deutlich says

    There’s no way in HELL I’d poop in front of my S.O.

  5. ok so my “roomie” or whatever is pretty gross and was peeing in front of me and farting in the first week. and so I felt comfortable from the start to also. but, neither one of us under any circumstances will poop with the door open. sometimes i won’t close it all the way but you can not see a thing! its just too gross for me.. and apparently him too and he’s the grossest.

  6. Lexilooo says

    No, no, no! I refuse to do any of the above in front of S! He has a house with more than one bathroom, so when I am there, it’s easy to hide- if he’s in the living room, I go upstairs, if he’s in the bedroom, I go down. However, if we are at my place, which is tiny, I can’t hide. So, if I am going to the bathroom, I turn on the water in the sink, in order to mask sounds! Yes, I get pee-shy and don’t even want him hearing me! This is after 4.5 years of dating. Clearly I have issues ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Peeing yes. (Not for him though, he will neverrrr do it in front of me. Oh my gosh gross!)

    Pooping? OUT OF THE QUESTION.

    Haha!

    Great post!

  8. hahaha, the funny thing is that i’ve told tall guy that i have to poop and made him get out of the bathroom quickly. i couldn’t hold it! but still, i can’t fart in front of him!

    i don’t think i could ever poop with him in the room, though. we haven’t even peed in the same room yet!

  9. Since our bathroom, when we first moved in together, didn’t have a door, we had no choice but to pee in front of each other.

    I don’t think I pooped for the first 2 weeks though – that’s how long it took them to put the door on (we were poor students). After 18 years of marriage? STILL NO.

  10. None of the above! Been there, done that with an ex (not number twos though), and just don’t feel inclined to go down the fart joke route with hubs.

    I think things might change with kids?

  11. The Cape House says

    I’m still laughing over you having this convo with your parents! I guess getting married changes your relationship with the rents. I probably won’t be doing that (the convo or the other thing!).

  12. haha yeah we totaly laugh and make fun of each other for our farts. But mine rarely smell they just sound funny. His smell. Yeuck!

    And yes we totally pee in front of each other, and/or with the door ajar. We got over that pretty quickly when we got rid of the roommates.

    But no. #2 stays private/door closed. Always will really.

  13. Non Sequitur Chica says

    No #2 in front of ANYONE. I also don’t do #1 without the door at least half closed.

  14. great post.

    and hells to the no. you couldn’t PAY me enough to take a crap in front of someone. even my sig. other.

    actually, my last boyfriend and i peed in front of eachother, but it ended in heartbreak. ive decided that until i know the person i am with is the one, i will NOT pee in front of them or watch them do the same. you cant get those moments back, awkward as that sounds, but its truth, i tell ya!

  15. Children of the Nineties says

    I’m pretty sure I could never get to that level of comfort with someone. That’s hilarious that you talked about it with your parents.

    The title of this post reminded me of Father of the Bride, I love when he says that line!

  16. eemusings says

    I totally agree! Me and BF are exactly the same on both counts, but no way would I ever go number twos in front of ANYONE.

    You know, sometimes I still kinda think I’m the only person who does #2s in the world, and somehow everyone else just purges waste from their body in some magical and completely un-gross way. Lol.

  17. I cant pee in front of ANYBODY,so number 2 is obviously out of the quetion. Some things just cant be shared together lol

  18. High-heel gal says

    I know everybody poops, but I never, ever want to see my boyfriend/husband do it in front of me. Talk about killing the romance. Ew.

  19. Jen on the Edge says

    I’ve been married for almost 18 years and have given birth twice in front of my husband, but going #2 in front of each other is absolutely off limits. The bathroom door is closed and locked.

  20. theycallmecurlysue says

    I’m not sure when the farting first started, and there was no hiding it, but I know I was the first to do it. I am a tooter. Always have been if I’m not in a public place (I think my body is just relaxed at home and WILL NOT fart at work, store, etc). David calls me his little tugboat or sometimes a rockship. Yes, we are also adults too! Although I’ve been with David for 9 months now, we still don’t pee in front of each other. Not sure when that will happen. Considering the bathroom is extremely small, it would be an invasion of the other person’s bubble really like they were sitting there with you. As for #2, no FREAKIN’ way. —I really need to talk about this on my blog—so look for a link back here about your post! ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. RachelSmiles says

    sooo funny. for the longest time i wouldnt even go the bathroom at my boyfriends apartment. i try to avoid going #2 as much as i can. but he does fart in front of me. i burp a lot so i guess it evens out?

    also. i just made the peanut butter muffins you posted and they are delicious! i bookmarked the blog they came from, she makes such great stuff! ๐Ÿ™‚

  22. I’ve been dating McGee#1 for 8 years and living together for 1 yr (oh yeah, and we’re engaged now). Peeing in front of each other, completely fine, popping pimples, fine.. but #2? NO WAY! I think I would pass out from the fumes… hehehehe
    oh, and farting? no problem… as long as I don’t get woken up at night. ๐Ÿ™‚

  23. Me and my fiance fart and pee in front of each other but I REFUSE to let him see me poop. Once when I was taking a shower, my fiance came into the bathroom and started pooping right next to the shower even though we have 2 other bathrooms. He said he just wanted to chat while he was going. Gee thanks.

  24. I never did, but my exboyfriend used to go number 2 in front of me all the time. he would call me in to talk to him while he was doing it. it was so freakin weird.

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