They named their kid after a gremlin??

That was Dave’s reaction after I told him that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz named their kid Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Now I can’t find the reference to a gremlin named Mowgli or Mogli (maybe in the Gremlins movie? Someone fill me in), but I did remember that Mowgli was the Jungle Book main charater’s name.

And what’s up with Bronx? (HOLLA!!) Now I’m all for recognition of my current boro, but Bronx? First of all, it’s THE Bronx, not just Bronx. And second, your reason is that “Brooklyn” has been used? What was wrong with Staten Island? Or Manhattan? Ashlee Simpson, 10 bucks says you’ve never stepped foot in the Bronx.

Why do celebrities feel the burning need to name their children something utterly ridiculous? I mean, my parents wanted to be different and they named me Lacey, but that was actually in a baby book! Not like looking at a map of New York and saying, “Ooooh, the Bronx! Well we’ll just remove the “the” and now we have a name for our kid!”. Or taking a bite out of an apple and saying, “Wow this apple sure is delicious… let’s name our baby girl “Apple” cause I’m sure she’ll be just as delicious!” Sorry Gwyneth, but I’m calling you out on that one. Moses is only slightly more acceptable for your boy’s name. My boss is having a kid, and they picked the name Alice. I LOVE IT. While I’m all for originality, pick names that your kid wont get the ever loving crap beat out of them for.

In other ridiculous celebrity news, apparently Nicolette Sheridan and David Spade are a new item. David Spade? I. Don’t. Get. It. Yes, he’s a funny man. But looks wise? Oh now. And this isn’t the first hot woman he’s dated! He was linked to Heather Locklear for a good while, and I think she’s is gorgeous. What do they find attractive in him? I mean, humor can only take you so far… I got it!

David Spade must have an incredibly large penis.

Glad I solved that problem. Phew!

Comments

  1. Wasn’t the Gremlin called Mogwai?

    I still think they only did it so they could spell BMW with it’s initials

  2. surviving myself says

    I hate David Spade. I don’t think he’s funny at all. So he maybe he has like three huge dicks or something.

  3. I think Dave meant Mogwai. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mogwai

  4. yeah the name is pretty ridiculous, mowgli? they are definitely a disney obsessed couple.

  5. Dangit! I was all like – oh yeah, I got this – mogwai! Dangit.

    I wrote about this too…
    http://joannaduff.wordpress.com/2008/11/21/bronx-mowgli/

    DAVID SPADE???????? Okay. From Michael Bolton to David Spade. Okay, now she’s just TRYING to get made fun of.

    Who’s next, Kevin Federline?

  6. Did LizSara use it’s on purpose?

    But I definitely know what you mean c’mon, the kid has enough problems (assuming he has to deal with his mom singing to him)!

    And Spade must, there’s no other answer.

  7. Oh my god, that borders on child abuse.

  8. You are a problem-solving MACHINE. And I am with you on the ridiculous names. I want names that aren’t overused but that are still recognizable as NAMES. Of PEOPLE, not places.

  9. thatShortChick says

    did you also know that david spade is a FATHER. He has a baby girl (who was born this summer) by a PLAYBOY BUNNY who is in her early twenties.

    he is a living anomaly.

  10. I thought I was seriously drunk when I read what they named that kid. I can handle Bronx, it was the Mowgli part, from the Jungle Book, I mean come on. That kid is going to get his a** kicked so badly.

  11. bahahaha, that second to last line made my day!

  12. notthelifeiordered says

    I’m just now recovering from the Bronx Mowgli debacle and now I hear this? David Spade and Nicolette Sheridan? WOW. I never understood how that man got any ass. You must be right. You have to be.

  13. Oh but The Bronx is so hip, clearly they had to have a hip name for their kid!

    UGH.

    This is why people like them should not reproduce.

  14. And I agree with all of this. Amen, sista!

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