I’m sorry, I can’t, don’t hate me.

One of Arielle‘s and my close friends just got broken up with this past weekend. (I don’t know if that was correct English at all.) And while it is sad that her relationship ended, I’m more upset for her about the way her now ex-boyfriend went about it.

He did it through IM.

I’m sorry, but that’s almost as bad as the Post-It Note episode from Sex and the City! They had been going out for over a year, the least he could have done is meet up with her in person. I really think that the ease that everyone has with technology has really screwed up our tact in handling things. Why bother meeting someone face to face to tell them something important, when you can IM, email, text, twitter, blog, or just change your status on Facebook or MySpace? I really think that a lot of these things have to do with manners going right out the window.

Breaking up with someone on the phone used to be considered a faux paux. Now that’s much more acceptable, but unless you are in a different city or state than the person and you cannot get to them, I still think meeting in person is the best way to go about things.

I’ve been broken up with on the phone, and the best was that one time it was by a guy who I went to school with. As in we saw each other EVERY DAY on campus, but yet he was too chicken shit to do it in person the next morning. And you know what? I’ve broken up with someone via email, but they were halfway around the globe and unresponsive for two weeks before that. Funny how I didn’t hear from them for those two weeks, and then finally did MINUTES after I had sent the email saying how I wasn’t ok with the relationship anymore. INTERESTING!

Oh! And things have gotten so much more complicated because of Facebook and MySpace. Ended your relationship? Now what’s the right amount of time that can lapse before you break your relationship off on Facebook, or take the person off of your friends on MySpace? And then, you know once those things happen, every person you’ve ever known in your life will contact you to see what happened.

Any horror stories out there? Broken up via Tweet? Facebook status changing before your eyes? Removal from Top Friends? Post-It?

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Comments

  1. The Maiden Metallurgist says

    I got dumped via text message. We’d dated for six months. It was Halloween. I ended up drying in a bar dressed as Wonder Woman. Embarassing.

  2. Princess Extraordinaire says

    That’s horrible!I think it’s uncoool to do anything other then face to face..

  3. I agree! Technology had definitely made it easier to be a coward! However, I think all of my break-ups have been in person!

  4. I broke up with a guy over email last year. But we were just casually dating and he lived 4 hours away so I couldn’t exactly tell him in person. I had to break up with Bry over the phone, too, because he was in Arizona. I mean I probably could have done it while he was still here, but I hadn’t made up my mind yet and didn’t want to jump the gun.

  5. notthelifeiordered says

    oh thats awful! I hate that people now hide behind these “easy” forms of communication, like texting, email, etc. I was broken up via email twice and phone a few times too. When you put effort into having a relationship with someone you deserve more respect than that!

  6. legallyheidi says

    i’ve been broken up with over IM, email and over the phone.

    I think of all those, the worst was email. I was in 10th grade and the dude sent me an email. Now, I didn’t have email at home so i had to check it at school, we had a 2nd period class together – what the hell would have happened if i hadn’t checked my email?? I would have cozied up to him during lunch while he was like “uhhh wtf?” thankfully i checked it first thing, and everyone thought he was the coward.

    Guh. Lamez0r.

  7. stealthnerd says

    I had to dump a guy via e-mail once. I had dumped him over the phone a few nights earlier but he didn’t seem to understand. Then he got all weird and bizarre on his MySpace page and his LiveJournal. I was sooo over the fact that his “just a friend” girl had immediately written to him about how she’d be there for him while he figured out what was going on with us, that I emailed him to tell him that, in case he didn’t get it, I’d dumped him once and now I was doing it again. UGH! That was the worst!

  8. theycallmecurlysue says

    I have been broken up with over the phone, but the worst was the guy (Nes) who never called me back ever again. Total chickenshit?! I think so. I’m glad he’s gone though. I wouldn’t have met David if he hadn’t!

    I myself have broken up over the phone with a guy, I was also 17 years old and we fought like crazy so I just couldn’t take it anymore and told him it was over. Oopsies.

  9. ablogofherown.wordpress.com says

    I have the BEST one ever….

    A boy I was dating broke up with me by having the girl he wanted to date DO IT FOR HIM.

    She called me and told me he didn’t want to see me anymore.

    And now I’ll collect my prize.

  10. My ex broke up w/me via email – so I empathize completely and agree wholeheartedly.

    People need to stop cowering behind technology.

  11. i got dumped via email in 8th grade! but i thought it was kinda funny (and i was a playa when i was younger- mwahahahaha)

  12. IM break up? Really? Wow. That’s horrible. Sounds like she may be better off. Who wants to be with a coward anyhow? Oh…was that too harsh?

  13. ugh, that’s just heaps of all kinds of wrong. what’s with men these days?

  14. I was broken up with by text message once. THEN . . . went back out with the guy. was broken up with by phone six months later. i suppose that’s an improvement . . .

  15. my friend’s girlfriend left a rent check and note at their apartment… yea. pretty shitty.

  16. That Mommie says

    i think i may have actually been broken up w this past week via a change in facebook status. or it may have been an error bc he went from single to back in a relationship. still not sure, i havent had a chance to talk to him abt bc he hasnt been around much. honestly im kinda scared + very hurt. =[

  17. He is stupid.

    My friend got broken up with when she came home to her condo that he also lived in with her and his stuff was gone – including the mattress. She slept on her own coach until she got a new mattress.

  18. I had to break up with Ronnie via email because he refused to call or email while deployed since he was “too busy” but same thing as you, I had an IMMEDIATE response that said basically “I agree.” Ugh! Boys!

  19. I was broken up with via text…twice. Same guy.

    Though I guess technically the second text was from the chick he was banging on the side…

  20. I agree…breaking it off over computer should be off limits.

  21. surviving myself says

    @lisa – Sorry but you are ugly. Bye 4eva.

  22. broken up over im? ew. that is just so lame i seriously can’t believe people sometimes.

    i haven’t ever really been broken up with before but i did have a college guy friend get into a fight with me over im and say he didn’t want to be friends any more so i called him (since he wouldn’t walk the 5 mins to my room) and gah it just wasn’t pretty either way. but i was sort of glad it didn’t happen in person because i was a mess.

  23. This just aggravates me. How much of a coward are these guys that they need to hide behind their computers or phones? It’s a matter of respect. If we spend a year together, I deserve a face-to-face break up.

    I was broken up by someone’s brother. That didn’t come out right. My then boyfriend’s brother told me that we were breaking up. I guess that’s the human version of Twitter.

  24. I learned of a friend’s divorce through facebook (but I’m pretty sure the actual breaking up they did in person) … But no real horror stories of bad break-ups via technology over here, sorry

  25. ugh, some guys just don’t have the gall to say it face to face. 6 months back, my now former boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me through SMS. Yes, a text message saying he can no longer commit (after 4 years my goodness!) and not even explaining why! and about 2 days ago, my pastor had to intervene just to get us to talk and have a formal talk for closure. how sad is that, eh?

  26. High-heel gal says

    I totally think that social networks such as fb and myspace have in ways, made one’s life more complicated. Add in the fact that some people use these networks as ways to break up with people, well that makes me wish I was a teenager in the 90’s again. However, if a guy is breaking up with you via IM, text message, fb, then obviously, he has the maturity level of a middle schooler. Love your blog, I’ll definitely be back ๐Ÿ™‚

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