It’s a Cold Hearted Snake! Look into His Eyeees…

So last night, I was puttering around in our bedroom, probably not putting away our laundry like I should have been doing, when I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. There was something weird on the floor. Something… wormlike. But not super wormlike, because it was kind of lying there in an “S” shape. And then, upon closer inspection, it had a head! There was a freaking snake in my bedroom!!!!

“I have had it with these motherf*cking snakes on this motherf*cking plane!”

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

The thing was really tiny, and only about 6 inches long or so, but there was NO WAY in Hell I was going to touch it!! And people, we live in the Bronx, so snakes? Are NOT an expected creature in our apartment!!

Dave was outside the house with his friend Scott, so I ran outside to get him and inform him that, “there is something reptilian in our room that you need to remove.” Of course he looked at me like I was crazy, until I swore up and down that there was a snake in the room. So Dave followed me (too slowly) into the house, until I grabbed him by the jacket and dragged him inside faster.

The Culprit

Dave the Snake Handler picked him up to take him outside but of course not before I made him take a picture. Priorities people!!! And then while in his hands, I was all “ooh” and “ahh” about it, because it really was cute and tiny! I just didn’t like him (her?) at all on my bedroom floor!! Blechh!


  1. Yo that’s f’ed up. I would never sleep in there again.

  2. ahhahaha snakes on a motherfucking plane.
    but seriously, wtf snakes?!

  3. Eww!!! I would completely freak out if there was a snake in my bedroom, no matter how tiny it was!

  4. Aww he is cute!! I actually really like snakes. I don’t think I would want one on my bedroom floor either though. That is what guys are for! I make JJ stop whatever he is doing if there is a spider in the house. I just cannot deal with spiders.

  5. stealthnerd says

    *Shudders* That’s totally creepy!

  6. A Margarita says

    Wow, I totally would have been flipping out!

  7. Wearing Mascara says

    Whaaaat!??! IN YOUR HOUSE?!?! OMG I would have freaked out! I actually saw a snake 2 days ago (in DC on my campus) that was small too. What is UP with these snakes?! That’s insane Lacey.

    Oh, btw, the title of your post has made me have Paula Abdule stuck in my head. I used to be obsessed with her growing up! ttyl! 🙂

  8. That’s fucking gross… pardon my French.

    And yeah I have to agree with your other comments. Totally have Paula stuck in my head now. Nice job! 😉

  9. okay and i thought it was gross when there was a lizard in my room before. but a snake!!! i would have flipped the eff out. no one would have heard from me again because my heart probably would have stopped, haha.

  10. Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) says


    I need to go look at shoe websites in order to get this out of my mind.

  11. but thats just a little one.

  12. theycallmecurlysue says

    What floor do you live on? How the hell? Uh uh, nope, I would have to pull back the sheets every night to make sure one wasn’t snuggled with me….and under the bed. At least it wasn’t hiding in your toilet waiting to bite your butt.


  14. Oh my goodness, I would have wet my pants. Not because i am scared of snakes but mainly because I would not be comfortable with it in my house of all places!…what if it crawled in your bed?!

  15. I would have done the same EXACT thing.

    “Don’t touch it yet I need a picture!”

    Let’s face it. There are some things that are obviously blogging material. And snake on your bedroom floor? That counts as blogging material!

  16. ohhh..snakes aren’t that bad, as long as they aren’t really close to me!!

    BTW love the post title!!

  17. How in the world did it get in your house?!

    I wouldn’t have reacted as calmly as you haha

  18. Um. No. Snakes. Allowed.


  19. Should’ve kept it!


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