Blab Cab

The below all transpired from the time of 5:45am – 6:30am Tuesday morning.

Cab company calls my cell phone and says cab is outside. Go outside, cab is not outside as company has claimed. Wait 3 minutes and as I’m about to call, cab comes screaming down my block, missing my house. Stops in the middle of the block, reverses back down the street, missing my house again. Plant self in middle of street in front of cab so driver sees me. Driver stops.

Once inside cab am almost deafened by loud volume of radio and cab driver listening to phone tap on Z100. He informs me of his love for phone taps, and I let him know I heard this one yesterday. (It was about a girl “dropping a log” in the back of a guy’s car.)

Cab driver takes random ass back way to get to the main highway by house. Then asks “Do you think we should go on the West Side, or the East Side?” I say, “Whichever you think is better”, and the ass replies, “Well that’s not really an answer.” YOU’RE THE CAB DRIVER – PICK A WAY!

Driver hits traffic multiple times, and must curse out traffic with each stop. Apologizes once.

Repeats at least 5 times how cold it is during duration of drive.

Learn that cab driver did not want to be a cab driver. His dad was a cab driver with the same company and he swore that he never wanted to to that. Was in construction, got injured, was then no longer in construction. Cab driver is now driving a cab. Cab driver’s dad is now bwah ha ha-ing from the beyond.

Am asked if I like Sarah Palin. Admit that I am not a fan. Cab driver thinks she’s manipulative. I think other things – keep them to myself.

Radio stations flicker (almost spelled it flickr) back and forth between talk radio, dance music and rap. Still at annoyingly loud decibels.

Yesterday cab driver drove to “Bumblefuck” Long Island with his girlfriend. Thought that she needed to go to the gynecologist (this is verbatim), but it turns out she went to a psychic. Girlfriend tells cab driver the psychic said she would be rich, and that she would have a boy. Cab driver says with who, because she won’t be having a kid with him!

Cab driver also informs me that his girlfriend works at [insert name of shady bar in my town here]. Am not surprised.

Keep thought that I am not a morning person and would not like to have these random discussions so early in the morning to myself.

Driver yells at car in next lane for wavering in and out of his lane. Personally believe that it is the cab driver that is wavering in and out of our lane.

Cab driver proceeds to turn down streets that do not make sense directionally in regards to destination. I am early, so I don’t care.

After repeating destination of street between 6th and Broadway to driver multiple times, cab driver proceeds to take me to 8th Avenue. This does not work. Once driver is on the correct street, he is confused and thinks he needs to turn around to get to 6th. Repeatedly inform him that he is going in the right direction, as this much I do know.

Am dropped off on corner near-ish to destination. On time, $39 lighter, and slightly disturbed at all that has transpired in these wee hours of the morning.

Comments

  1. Sounds like a not-so-fun crazy morning. Hopefully your next trip will be far better–that can’t be hard to do!

  2. theycallmecurlysue says

    I would have tried to smother myself with my very large purse.

  3. Christy Lou Who says

    Oh, wow. I actually had something similar happen with a tow truck driver, except he wanted to talk about drugs. A lot.

  4. A Margarita says

    Ahhhm NYC cab drivers – gotta love ’em, hehe.

  5. ToughGirl101 says

    Oh my, you just made me happy because I own a car (a crappy car I’m paying too much for). I think I would have shot someone in that situation.

  6. surviving myself says

    Awesome.

  7. oh wow that would have been way too much for me to handle that early in the morning.

  8. Holy crap! What a freak! We had this cab driver once, in Jamaica, who would go 50 miles an hour to SLAM on his brake for a stop sign, then he would proceed to honk (hello) at every damn car that drove by. Holy man, that experience just reminded me of that. đŸ˜€

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